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Its Whole Lot of New

I started this whole thing In 2020! Purely joy for myself. But lucky for me odd numbers are my favorite and some of my best years! My kids adopted in odd numbers my kids born in odd numbers! I just love odd numbers! I have new baby coming soon. With the new year I wanted to share my goals. I know this pandemic has been hard and hit everyone in one way or another. Moving forward with my kindness this Blog I did vision board I wanted to share more in detail my intentions and the hope of being held accountable. I am very guilty of giving big business my money and convenience of drive up delivery. I also can admit I get a small emotional high spending money. So this year I am planning to be less wasteful with stuff I have and food. I want to spend my money and time more important things. I am lucky I have big family in my household and some other family members like my cooking. I want to use what I have like the oatmeal and beans that I never get around too, Use what I have before I restock. I plan to garden more as well. I have a bunch of seeds that I plan to be successful with and use what's in my garden. I was pretty successful with my garden last season but with gardening it is always learning experience and trial and error. I plan to focus on slow living as well I don't want to keep up with the Kardashian I want to keep up with the Murphys. I have a whole bunch of self help books and other cook books ect this year I plan on reading them and when finished immediately regifting them to people I think enjoy or donating to someone who would enjoy. Same with the kids books I don't always want to use excuse of there tablets and computers. I really want to plan real life experience's with them and playing board games learning chess. Even if this pandemic still going on I want to live more intentional living with my family. In this year of 2021 I want to get early prepared and organized life. I am constantly in a rush and addicted to my phone just as much the next. I want to really focus knowing where my phone and keys are and not spend majority of my life looking for these things. Practice more slow approach. I am also practicing more self care I can be a mom but less of a rachet mom and not use excuse not doing it. I want to be more put together even if that just means a cute outfit or my hair straightened, I am the typical hair in bun sweatshirt and go. But this year even if I am home with baby and kids just doing these small things make me feel good and boost my mood. My next big focus is going to be this blog and putting more time and energy into it. I have a better time putting my thoughts into words even if they don't make sense to people. My life is so unique with adoption wheelchair mom and just the unconventional life style. I honestly love this blog for myself. But I also like to make people think in a different perspective. I like to think with the other side of my brain as well. My goal for this blog is to build a community and share life as there will be someone who has more and less than you. I want to build a conversation. I want ideas and thoughts. I want to share how we all can be less wasteful in our lives. I want to share ideas and thoughts challenges of kindness to ourselves and others, Last but not least my overall goals this year kindness to the world is with my family and working outwards. I really love this blog and I want to show more kindness to others this year. Making kindness culture a more universal thing. I want my little group to do our part. So kindness always counts. Kindness Counts JM If you would like to share your vision board love to see send to my Instagram. My Instagram is wheelchairwife922. Blog post by me too look forward The Name Owen and Brandt What is a helper Wheelchair caregiving Adoption struggles

Christmas Day Thank you

Well its Christmas day! Christmas looks different for everyone! If your sad today that is ok your happy today that is ok. If your reading this I am extremely grateful for you! I started this whole blog because I needed outlet. If your reading this even if you don't celebrate thank you! If you do Thank you. Thank you for supporting me. Thank you taking the time going to my website. Giving me a second of your time. You are really kind for taking the time. My main goal on this blog practice kindness share my struggles and triumph and have different perspective brought to the table. Enjoy your day! Get some fresh air! Stay safe. Ill be keeping it low key! Spending time playing with my kids and enjoying some fresh air! Kindness Counts you showed kindness to me today! JM

Covid19 Survival Ideas

I am NOT DR ! Just what I did! CALL your DR if you have questions! Have you not been exposed and want to know what you should have on deck if exposed. Same except i was exposed and survived it! In my book that is a blessing! I am family of 5 soon to be 6. What I wish I would have known. First get all the basic over the counter meds. What you use. If you don't have it on hand have someone you know get you the meds.Do porch drop off(SO that person remains safe). Get yourself water,toilet paper,cough drops,gatorade pedialyte. And good thermometer. You must keep an eye out for your temperature because if it gets too high and can't break it you must go to the ER. I would also get yourself some rags to cool you down. I would calculate a check up after quarantine with Dr because of the virus you don't know how your body was attacked. In my household we all had different symptoms and different needs. I was personally one of the people lost texture,taste and smell. It's a very weird symptom sometimes when sick with regular cold you lose both those things except I think this virus is a beast. IT IS A DIFFERENT SENSATION! For the symptoms I used rags to cool me Down. I kept alexa and my phone on top of when to take my meds because of fatigue. I asked for food drop off as much as possible because if your head of household you don't want to cook! You have fatigue! If you can't taste what is the point you just need to get something in you! Liquids liquid liquids. Hydrate as often as you can. Yes you need toilet paper! IF you use bidet comes in handy as well! Take this time too rest! Yes there is HUGE range what symptoms you get! However after going through this prepare for the worst and hope for the best! So these are my recommendations what my family symptoms where! California numbers are rising like crazy! I.I was one of the people let my circle get bigger and almost cost me my husband myself and my unborn baby. I got COVID at 26 week pregnant! That was scary as HELL! IF YOUR THINKING ABOUT LETTING YOUR CIRCLE GET BIGGER LET ME BEG YOU NOT TOO! Show your family friends kindness if you can not see them based on their choice who is in there circle! I wish i wasn't selfish but I was and I made myself ILL! I've learned my lesson! i never want to be this sick ever again! KIndness counts when you learn from your mistakes and can forgive yourself. Im taking some time to recover now after surviving my family survived covid! I do believe we survived! Im practicing kindness these days starting with my family working my way out! JM KIndnessCounts *thermotor *over counter meds cough day- night basically whatever you use *timer to keep up on meds we used alexa and phones *water hydrate flush it out as much as possible *gatorade pedialyte help your kids hydrate and electrolytes *vape rub *A person run errands for you can't get it yourself so you don't expose anybody *toilet paper *tissue *essential oils help with your sense when lost *your favorite stuff comfort you pillows, blanket,stuffed animal,tv show *phone charger keep phone charged just in case you have to call 911 *diaper cream if your pregnant you pee uncontrollably no tinkle *vomit buckets *rags cool you down *kids meds again whatever your family uses *cough drops *new toothbrushes *lysol spray disinfect your whole house *goals keep you motivated stay home and get projects done even if you start feel better stay home until your dr says you can GO Back to public and work *vitamins and or kids vitamins i read zinc D3 was thing with Covid *open windows when you can get fresh air *people check on you window visit physically make sure you have not fainted or passed out if your alone *know where all your family insurance cards are or where you will go with no insurance in an emergency *podcast-music help you feel better *proning if your coughing it helped a lot *REST REST REST

Covid-19 Knocked on my door

Well let me be the first to admit I thought it was Hoax. Even after hearing about someone somebody of so and so. I thought I was invincible. Since the out Break my kids and I never got sick. The last time any of us where sick was back last february 2019. When my son had RSV but after that non of us where sick. We followed the protocol social distancing for good four months. Then we got laxed thought no way can't be us not us. BOY oh Boy was I was wrong!!!! My tight circle got bigger and i let my circle see other people besides us. I still kept to myself when have bunch kids can't really go out much anyways. But I did let the circle expand some what I did too. I went to the stores because boredom target homegoods others . I made the mistake of thinking invincible. I was finally exposed because my circle got bigger causing me to become the most vulnerable disabled husband a pregnant mom and three kids who depended on me. I was lucky because for two days I had no symptoms and as it was coming to light I through my back out! I was laid on my butt couldn't go anywhere barely made it to the bathroom. I was in excruciating pain. As I was recovering from my back. My husband started get sick. I was thinking allergies because the weather had finally gotten colder. So for a day did nothing. Just let him suffer get through it take his allergies meds. Then couple hours later cough cough. By the next night I would say I started coughing then my kids. it became a war zone, I was sick my husband who has cerebral palsy sick and all 3 kids sick. There was no time covid-19 was coming in full force. As i write this Im crying because I could have avoid this whole thing. I could have done exactly what the CDC recommended social distance keep to my house hold. Instead I powered through and thought i was invisible. I put myself my kids and everyone I was in contact with at risk. If your reading this IM SO SORRY! Back to the story..... First it wasnt itchy throat it was full on cough like where your choking cough. Dry cough try to hack but nothing coming but your literally choking on cough. I went into mom Mode nobody in nobody out. I started finding soup crackers vomit buckets meds. I ordered grocery. I didn't know how long this was going to last what was happening. I had to go into super mom wife mode. I am pregnant my husband with cerebral palsy three kids one who is one. I had to watch my husband carefully because it was taking breath away and there was definitely higher chance of him on ventilator becoming hospitalized. I had to prepare myself what I would have to live with rest of my life. My plan in a panic. I was to get everyone to there rooms and rest thank goodness kids didn't miss school and had to do this over thanksgiving break and the only thing lost was time with family and vacation. I became a watch dog.Everyone symptoms different and everyone needs different. I was fighter i honestly had no choice but to survive. I will be damned if I was going to let my family go out like this. KIDS tylenol cough drops water vitman c regualr vitmans on deck. Every single person in the house hold had to shower every day. I had to be extra careful because i Do all the transfers for my husband shower.I also had to ask for runner for things i couldn't get delivered. I was lucky and had family member outside getting me what i couldn't. Did porch drop offs. I also had the gruelling task of getting a covid test to confirm. The lines where long and It was waiting game. But couple days later confirmed I was part of the percent with cases rising. Also confirming my whole family was sick with covid. Makes me sad. I'm also mad at the outbreak. Besides the point. If it was bat I officially hate bats just by association. Husband symptoms Cough,vomiting ,bathroom (now you know why tp always gone it is symptom) shortness of breath goosebumps muscle spasms and lots of hacking.Symptoms declined but seemed to have symptoms longer than a week. Jessica coughing vomiting, running nose, basically if i didn't keep moving i would cough more causing me to struggle. So i had to keep myself going to keep the whole family going, When i was resting it was harder. I did learn on tik tok what proning was that helped me a ton! Lost taste not like when lose taste when originally sick but like can't feel textures or taste like just food sitting on top of your tongue.I absolutely hate cereal and I ate some just to use it up and eat. Normally i would never ever even try to eat it. It's not like when lose taste when sick normally. Like barely tell something in your mouth or tongue. I had few days of bathroom I think your body flushes it out in overdrive! Truth be told I rather have a day food poison then two weeks of shit show. The baby who is 1 he had night terrors,crying irritable,sniffles but seem to only have symptoms for 2-3 days Middle Child Adrian 8 cough loss of voice low energy wanted to nap ear ache one full blown week Oldest child Jose 12 less than a week low energy runny nose Who got better first Owen i didn't know I was told rsv part of different covid strand. Then I would say Jose he seemed to have the easiest time from the struggle bus then would be Adrian once he was better he had to step up help with baby and I am definitely way more grateful for his ability. I made a covid list what was our goal each day. I used alexa in full force. It reminded me who was next for meds reminded me to take all of our temperatures.Kept me on track as i was becoming more and more foggy. Laying down was dreadful for me because that is when everything come up and i would literally spit out globs of snot. As the kids got better I honestly think showers meds vitamins gatorade and rest got them better the fastest. My husband powered wheelchair and he can not move very well but flonase claritin and showers to help loosen whatever the virus was seemed to be the best meds for him. After everyone started feeling better my body finally relaxed was like hehehe time for you and virus took over. I became extremely fatigued could barely hold my eyes open. I had to create new plan what was I going to do get myself out of this mess. Showers as hot as I could take them and quick so i would get hot shower and put it on my chest so I could then cough up whatever was in my lungs. It feels like you smoked 5 packs of cigs a day and need to get a drag to feel like can breathe again was best way I could describe it. I then was loose enough and endured the netting pot. I had to get as much of mucus gonk out of me asap. I also was well aware I am pregnant wasn't going to risk delivering way to early. I am driver and ultimate runner typically in my family. So with me laid out I used amazon and safeway delivery service for what became essential for us. As i write this my taste buds are finally back but I would think with this forever altered. LIke typical things I love don't taste the same anymore. I desire those same taste but it just feels off. I also had scare of Pneumonia because I was pregnant high risk now and completely stress ball tapped out. I would say 10-10 don't recommend covid. Lesson I learned when husband says slow down he means it. If you don't want to end up marriage 20 years down the road with I told you so. Take your health mental health seriously. After experiencing covid I am now looking at those people with slow living more of understanding, I like my household alot more and alot more grateful with all the craziness. I am learning that I can't do it all but I can survive it all.I am going to be kinder to myself. I am normally a hotmess mom 24/7 hair bun and sweats. But Now I want to do more selfcare. Yes most of the time I am bun yoga pants but after this I want to do more for myself like makeup and outfits because It will just make me feel good. I want to not take for granted how to get from point a to point b kind to basic of strangers and neighbors. But with death pandemic and let me say a shit show show kindness right in front of my face. I want to take advantage of my kids being small and at home with pandemic. Literally everything I thought I could do or get to that was almost taken in moment's notice, So I plan to do those crafts leaving house a mess and have kinder heart.Covid is scary if you lost someone because of this I am so sorry. If you have gotten to skip the pandemic count lucky stars and be kind to people who gotten it. Its unruly time and you never know what's going to happen. They don't need the I told you so people. They need love support soup and meds and ride to the hospital need be, Some things can do if you have family friend ect experiencing covid! Drop off whatever common cold meds they use. Offer to take there laundry do it for them one less thing they need to do but rest. Whatever favorite meal is or soup anything to get them to eat. Offer to be the runner if they can't order it be the person can count on for the back up plan. Like I said One less thing for them to do have someone take there garbage down. There already so exhausted nice to just take it out for them. Send them text saying feel better. You are completely alone even with your family I can't describe the feeling but it's lonely. When you have to become quarantined you miss basics of people. Don't just ask what they can do see it do it. Water toilet paper lysol will come in handy. For me it was don't ring the doorbell send me a text saying it was delivered when baby kids and everyone napping resting better to keep it quiet. So send a text saying dropped off. Above all else just be kind to the people experiencing it. Moving forward I will admit I am extremely traumatized from it all. I will tighten my circle because who knows if you can or will ever get it again. I will keep more to myself. I am hoping this whole nightmare ends soon. However in this i did finally get around to starting this blog. I am really enjoying it. I am going to focus on my little family and showing my kindness more with in my circle.Kindness Counts when you make it count. If my husband reading this you will forever have my wife got me covid! I told you so moment. I bow to thee. JM Kindness Counts if you would like christmas card message address on instagram wheelchairwife922 or my email jessmurphy922@gmail.com I will send you one! Dear kids and husband It was hell it was weird We made it through I love you We kicked butt in 2020 Cheers to you We puked choked Peed and pooped all too much for all of us We shared the toilets Shared the sinks Sprayed the heck out of those lysol sprays We did what we could We made it through Dear Husband and Kids I truly love you! MOm and Wife

Kindness

As we know my thing with kindness counts is not just because I believe it. It is because i also need to practice it in my home life and for myself. I struggle with Kindness so I surrounded my most vulnerable thing I have is kindness. I have sassy streak and when I hurt I am a person cant reckon with. Kindness counts because if Im held accountable to my kindness I have the inattive to be kind to others and to myself.With that being said the thing I struggle with kindness is making it count spending my time and energy making it count for myself. Just like anybody else it is hard sometimes to be kind. It is so easy have the surface kindness. Sometimes it is really that deep kindness with people who are right in front of you live under roof or see on a daily basis. We are meanest to the people where the closest to as expected we should also be the kindest but we forget to practice that. Anyways I wanted to do acts of kindness with pandemic going on as I am currently recovering from COVID-19 with my family. I thought of my ideas how to show some kindness during this season, Post of covid-19 with my family will be coming soon. So stay tuned. Until then I thought what are some ways to make kindness count. These are some ideas i am going to try with my family maybe you want to try too. If you do some these tag me instagram with hashtag #kindnesscounts. * You can pay for the person behind you in any drive thru. *You can save box tops give them to your local school or friend or family member. *If you notice coupon that someone uses save it for them mail it to them so they can use it. *If you don"t cook just drop off frozen meal or tv dinners. *cook or bake dinner drop off *drop off groceries *Become a pen pal with everyone stuck at home now perfect time reach out become pen pal with people around the world or just community since social distancing. *Decorate family member or friends side walk with side walk chalk let them know miss them and care *make some humming bird water and drop off mason jar 1cup sugar 4 cups water boil dissolve deliver *Listen now the time to take time slow down and just listen hear about the hopes and dreams just really listen. * Hear what the person saying and do something to really make them feel herd and that you where hearing understanding what they where saying * Time spend time with your family like time not electronics but time with them * Where in social media area but shouting out the people you care about on any social media letting them know see them and care. *Self care do it for yourself or help someone else accomplish self care *Forgive look deep forgive we all are hurt but once forgive you can finally let it GO *paint rocks kind words put them around the neighborhood *show kindness to your family friends and strangers however that looks to you *drop off plant flowers or seed to someone *look up someone amazon wish list pay for something *Send a care package from etsy or amazon *pick up trash walk outside *Be patient and kind even feel that dont want too. These are ideas I have of course there plenty more like toilet paper lysol hand sanitizer and bunch on pinterest and google. With times being so weird. These are some things I have been thinking about to show my KIndness. I really find it important to make it count. I can"t do it all but I can make small steps show people I encounter that Kindness means alot to me to show it. Also means alot to share the kindness. I really want to practice my kindness.I want to show my kids husband no matter what little or alot we have that more importantly kindness counts. Im starting with my little family working our way out. Kindness Counts JM

Comfort MoM Soup

Well look like beginning looks like fall in my neck of the woods. Comfort to me has always been food. Food recipes and cooking looking into things didn"t really start until I was 22. I was married and decided to quit my job and caregive for my husband full time. He was professinal poker player he was working late at night. After fighting for promotion that I did not get i felt it was time for me to move on. I loved my previous job but they wouldnt let me grow and that lead me to leaving. I am prime example one door closes another opens. Now i have been caregiving full time for almost 9 years. I was free to caregive for my husband grandma my grandma and help other people with watching kids baby sitting dog sitting. My grandma was my first cooking teacher however you had to be there. I always felt intimidated by her talent. I crave her food still to this day. I also crave my hispanic aunt who was my nanny for alot of years her food. With all this extra time i had a lot of extra time on my hands right when i quit tv show called. the chew came on. That show sparked and interest for me. They cooked made it look way too easy and for first time i began to grow up.Thought if these people can cook so can I. I had other friends family try but i always needed there help. Thought that I can"t do it or how to chop and dice. There is a thing once your invested you either crash or fail. I was starting to try it not fail. I started simple as silly as it sounds making quesadilla.Not burning the food. Then I moved forward to chilis and soon i was learning simple lunches and dinners. My fiery talent was ignited. Now with big family and family living so close. I cook often. Don't get me wrong i also need break from cooking sometimes and have no problem going out to eat. However my happy place is cooking for other people. When my picky husband loves it or someone says picky with the food then has that ingredient in the dish. No problem giving myself a pat on the back. So with rain in the near future our family having tomato soup with grilled cheese. I am by far no chef I just like too cook. This is what our family is eating. Tomatoe soup 8 beef steak tomatoes 1 packet bacon 1 huge white or yellow onion 3 whole things of garlic 2 red pepper 1 1/2 cups of heavy whipping cream 1 big can crushed tomatoes tomato paste sour cream butter salt pepper basil italian seasoning olive oil vegetable stock foil Grilled cheese Sourdough bread Jar of pesto mayonnaise pepper jack cheese butter Soup Directions On a cookie sheet about 400 degree I roast the tomatoes bell pepper for 45 mins basically until soft and lightly black. Pour salt pepper olive oil. I cut the garlic open add olive oil salt pepper crunch foil in ball with galic let it roast with the rest of the stuff. The soup Pot I add olive oil and butter let it melt. I then add onion until translucent one the onions clear I add crushed tomato any can will do add more flavor add the one that has all the extra stuff in it. I was taught season every layer heard it from the cast of the chew my new obsession Rachel Ray. I absolutely love her. She is my celebrity crush before everyone loved Ellen lol. So now you have in soup pot onion crushed tomatoes and now cooled and chopped garlic tomatoes and red bell peppers.Season heavily to your taste. Add this to the pot mix and mix until cooking for id say good 20 mins. Another 10 add the heavy whipping cream, Blend we use immersion blender. While this is stewing and brewing add bacon to the oven make it super crispy cool and chop up this only toppig for the soup. Already having bread so this substitution and extra flavor the top. Once the soup Done set aside. Grilled cheese direction Take two pieces of sourdough bread spread the outside with mayo the inside spread butter then pesto. Add the pepper jack cheese. Spray some cooking non stick cook up until cheese melted set aside. My husband known for this part or hounding me about presentation. So get the soup bowel add the soup to bowel. Top with sour cream bacon And cut the cheese diagonal. Making cute triangle. Set the soup bowel on top of plate the grilled cheese on the side. Serve Kindness counts make a meal for yourself or a family member.

The hard truth

My kids are adopted yes. In my case adopted through foster care that comes with trauma because no matter what way it turns the courts decided that the kids needed a home other than the one they were born into. They were not given up for better home something had to happen for kids to get into care. The truth is because of that the my kids spend holidays with me there family but cant help but to think what there missing out on. My kids have to look at holidays different set of eyes. They look at it are we going to celebrate. Can we celebrate? If we celebrate will will we be hurting biological family. Just like life it can sometimes be hard to navigate around adoption. I also have to navigate that because i adopted I need same effort put into my kids just as much biological kids. So i often have to say you can't send gift not unless it i s all my kids. Or same with quality time with all my kids. I think that's just being mom too all I got compare to is myself. Without going into too much detail my kids are school age don't have contact with their biological parents. So because of the confusion I try to encourage them to write letter to bio parents mad happy angry explaining what there doing what is happening so when if contact ever happened the kids have something to give to them. Naturally this to them comes up around birthdays holidays. I don't make it big deal when I do get letters i give envelope promise not read put it in box where they know it is. Kids coming foster care often have stigma of wild how can you handle it. I often think there kids it is much harder dealing with difficult boss then difficult kid. I am trying really hard myself personally only positive reinforcement and when kid makes mistake to let it go only respond to the good. It is hard because where fed so much negativity. At the end should be mind over matter. Kindness over anger. Back on track to what I was saying kids have feelings too. Just like when someone passes or traumatic event remember that day. Kids have these feelings come up during the holidays. So besides letter to the kids I also created since thanksgiving coming up a feeling turkey. I saw bunch ideas pinterest craft groups but I put my own spin on it for my kids. I also been saving all my paper towel and toilet paper rolls because of the pandemic. If toilet paper going to go sparingling I am going to use every inch of what I paid for. So I have been saving for craft projects with my kids. The reason i am speaking to this because even in this craft kids have so many emtions during this season of holidays. Nice to show some emotion kindness let there feeling out meaning you can be kind but also listen with kindness. I am practicing make it count because even I sometimes don't want to suck it up deal with my own emotions or own feelings how we navigate being a family. Make a craft with your kids make the time be filled with kindness often hopefully make a good memory for them. Kindness counts JM You need toilet paper roll or paper towel roll cut in half even use the roll from left over foil googley eyes red and yellow construction paper and bunch fun color construction paper sharpie or pencil glue stick I pre cut The beaks into triangles I also added googly eyes before kids started craft. I pre cut the gobble for the turkey. I also pre cut construction into the feathers. Leaving my kids to write there feelings on the feather what that turkey or what there feelings. You can add the extra step magnetic thing make it keep sake so you have thanksgiving decor during thanksgiving. Gets kids thinking about there feelings gets conversation going. I think total cast for this craft 5 dollars and with plenty left over for future crafts.

Friends giving

We in the united states celebrate thanksgiving only non hallmark holiday we have. Only time don't have to worry about gifts money or candy. Just about good food. This year im celebrating differently like most. I will be at the ocean taking mini baby family moon before the new arrival. However now times spent friends and family a lot more special when your living in a pandemic. Things i've learned in pandemic basically who you choose to spend with your friends family most important people in your life. Do you go ebs and flows yes. But now its more important to talk to people. Spend Time with people. Really enjoy people conversation time spent with you. I am not doing traditional thanksgiving meal. Well because I will have that on thanksgiving. My menu is Appetizer chips salsa stuffed mushrooms,Main course tri tip green bean casserole mashed potatoes potato salad steamed carrots cranberry sauce macaroni cheese salad. Dessert apple and pumpkin pie with side of vanilla ice cream and coffee. Drinks are coffee water and apple cider most of us don't drink alcohol so this is why. The kids will have kids table i printed a thanksgiving place matt with crayons paper for kids color. I also created a small scavenger hunt for around our neighborhood. The table low to the ground they get to sit on bottoms. Close enough to be included. For the adults because this year crazy i created place cards using closing pens and washing tape with their names. A card says what i am thankful for because of them more personal message from me the host. I am reusing a lot of the decor i already have. Making it more into thanksgiving theme. It is funny the people that often hurt us the most are people closest too you. So these people I invited are the people I love hardest fight with the most. But I also have to rebuild constantly relationship with them. Often people hang around during the holidays those people fought with that no one talks about the fights and then making up. If your like me you run a fine line of boundaries and relationship protect your heart and feelings. So my kindness rant Spend time with people you want to be around.They want to be around you. Be kind to the people your around. Have meaningful conversation and spend your time with people who enjoy you and you enjoy them, If we have all learned during this pandemic sometimes we don"t get the chance to show kindness people living in front of us.. We move too fast we forget that those people right in front of us help shape and build us. Those people are the ones that feel our hearts with kindness. Making kindness count is more important now then ever before. If we put that out kindness energy you never know what it does for other people. It should feel you up to be kind. It is always free and makes more of difference and it can spread all across the world. JM Update friendsgiving was blast! Nice to have laughter conversation and quality time. I wrote to each person and child what i was thankful for. I had little personal touches and to people about the small details. Also my door prizes for coming was toilet paper. For the kids was thanksgiving craft and glow sticks. Also everyone was good at rinsing off plate cleaning up after themselves leaving me time and space as the host to enjoy myself. There is also little bit drama and mine is almost setting house on fire because paper from apple cider jar i recycled landed on the heating tool dish washer making the kitchen smokey for little bit. I was bit embarrassed but I thought thats least of my worries. Food wasnt burn the bellies full. So i took that embarrassment and pride moved along lol. I think my kindness showed today. I felt i tried felt like everyone loved it!

Incarcerated kid

It’s about to get personal. I’ve been thinking about this alot lately. I live in California and the prison-jail system is whole mess. But I want to think different perspective during covid pandemic all places have been shut down and there are no contact visits only phone calls. Lucky depending on the facility some get video chat. However let’s back it up.
I’m a child of parent in prison. This is how my feeling went something to think about know family that’s parent is locked up. Regardless of the sentence a child does the sentence too. Sometimes the other parent or family member take them to visit and gives the inmate hope to do the time and do better when out.
My situation I never got visit for two years and only letters. To far to young and single parent outside doing best they could put food on the table. We’re in class over worked couldn’t afford the drive to visit. Leaving me resentful and angry. I still hold on to some of this anger today.
No matter what age a child still has feelings this is sad for child that was able to see parent on weekly visit and can not. These kids holding counting down hope. Currently California there is no visits. For the family That must be hard because serving time with no family or friends to encourage them in person. Or see them physically keep things going. Keep up parent hope but child’s hope. I can only imagine the suffering not being able to see somebody even if behind glass only getting phone calls.
When child goes into foster care or family member parent military and stationed else where. There all these wonderful helpful things for them. Service to bring toys gifts to the holidays. Visits People reach out donate and make things special.
However if your child with parent family member doing the best they can. These kids often unseen no service because not in system to look out for. These kids secretly suffer from magical life of what other humans kindness can do. Kids are often get turn the other cheek.
To make this personal a little about me.
If I where to see parent. Maybe lesson rebellion. I just think kindness is not too look down child who’s parents doing the time. The parent child deserve a visit and they deserve to be seen as and helped too.

So here are some ideas to help the kids who have parent incarcerated.

Adopt a family. We’re often taught prison culture don’t Accept handouts. But we can accepts gifts.

Give ride or gas card to visit. When visits are open often don’t have to be blood family member just a friend. Just have to fill out the form. Obviously when pandemic visits are
Open. Depending on parent offer take the kids to visit.

Send pictures of the kids or have kids take pictures what they want to show parents what there doing on the outside.

By the kids pen and paper have them write letters. You don’t know how much it means when your parent hears what your doing. If child’s angry have them send letter anyways. What parent feels like when send mail. Bonus points one favorite things inmates can get locked up.

Fun fact I still have every single letter ever sent to me. From when I was the child suffering the times

Send book that both child and parent can read . Help stay connected. Encourage discussion and gets kid reading. Example send book orgami they both learn how to fold paper.

There are currently 195,000 children parents locked up California where I live. This just my state. These kids didn’t do the crime but there doing the time.

Be mentor keep child busy keep child interested what life like outside. There down parent so always be mentor. Show your skills off. In return those skills might be able to show when the parents released.

Teach kids card games doesn’t have to be poker . There are other games to play when the adult gets out kids can play that game with parent.

For the adults outside that can’t fufill parent roll but are friend to the family. Be pen pal update them about kids growth achievement that kids can’t see.


Kindness counts no matter what background.
JM

Maybe invite soon

First let's start with being wife being in a pandemic lately has got me pretty tied up. If you haven't seen my instagram might not know I am pregnant again with another baby boy I will have gotten four kids under 2 years. So basically speeding up the mom process asap. Also distant learning have two boys birthdays plus mine Owen turned 1 and Jose turned 12. Has been very busy. But I promise I want to keep this going. Braden and i also celebrated 8 years married and 11 years together. Our first date was october 3 2009. During this time we have had two presidents. Shh this your getaway from the polls. Ok now back to what i was thinking about even though we are not going anywhere . However when we would socialize go to peoples houses or even events depending on the event. We often get this I don't think my house handicap accessible or I would invite you but i don't know how you would get in. So just in case you want to make a friend pandemic over and often wonder how let me point some things out for you. This is will work with most but extra look for powered wheelchair. The first thing going look front door garage side door what's the lowest to the ground has the least lip. But not sliding glass door thats last resort. I will explain later. This is best because if thats case can get someone strong help pop a willy over it to get into the area. You can get small ramp off amazon or store we use ill leave the links below on the ramps. This is the most common for the house need clear path. The lips most of the time most people can work around. Just make your decor and water hose are out of the way. The ramps are simple. This is my advice only for a powered wheelchair often the hardest to think about. My husband has control over the chair unlike some people who have to help with powered chair. He has been driving it since a child. So he is a very good driver in the chair lol. Most people in chairs are. The tips make sure clear path. That animals and children are out of the way. That only small amount of people guide a person is helping to many cooks in kitchen get burned. Toys and misc are off the floor. Think of it has straight path with few turns your good to go. Pick area for that person maybe tv dinner tray to help put there food or drink on so closer to them then the average person. The hardest if needed is sliding glass door. Is the threshold track because of powered wheelchair goes over it very hard to get the dents out and very expensive to replace. Yes speaking from experience but this is when use small ramp and another ramp to cover tracks Most people situation know what to bring and work out. There are some hospitality people that like to go above beyond purchase this . We often get this because family sooner then later caregives or prepares for the dooms days lol. I hope this encourages you to invite that person know wheelchair too scared or afraid to invite. It is not as scary as it seems. If there is Will there is a way. This is what we use I am not affiliated. https://www.amazon.com/ORFORD-Utility-Mobility-Wheelchair-Non-Skid/dp/B07TXGJSBS/ref=sr_1_6?dchild=1&keywords=wheelchair+ramps&qid=1604422703&sr=8-6 https://www.pviramps.com/ These two links have been very beneficial for our family. Maybe for your friend or family member too in the near future. Show some kindness and make it count invite someone in wheelchair. Kindness Counts JM

Birthday Love #30

Well Hello I’m 30! My baby boy is one next up is Jose who will be 12! I love birthday I’m actually kinda obsessed! I love birthday because one excuse to say hello I’m freakin awesome and love on yourself or others! My birthday was struggle for couple years because of 911 when twin towers fell down! Since then I have made it a point to celebrate. I’m big on celebrating because on that day that moment I you were created for your small mark on the world! There always a reason you or anybody else is here on earth! It seems to be great way show kindness to others! You get show Them you love them you care for them! Big or small just by saying happy birthday! Well goodbye 20s hello 30s! I’m starting my 30 married with kids! I hope this decade gets better and better! Remember you can always be super kind on someone birthday! Kindness Counts! JM Photo credit Taken by Ashley Frame

Unlikely Friendship

Being a caretaker your home a lot you get the extra down time. So when that happened to me I was more interested in shorter time span and started following people on youtube. i followed people with tips tricks and the obsession of what was trending.I lived in apartment at that time i was someone that would start from beginning work my way up to present day. Well one the people i was following the background started to look common to my apartment. When i got to present day. I didn't want look crazy so I messaged the P.O box said we lived in the same complex can we be friends. Well couple weeks later I ran into her at the mail box. If you haven't guessed I am talking about Channon Rose on youtube, Luckily we had hot tub so we both meetup with our husbands well they got married few months later. That kinda slittified are friendship. Back then I had infertility for about seven years was coming to the terms with it.Hindsight who would have guessed. We would have kids.Three years later. What I mean unlikely friendship what are the odds that you watch someone daily. Then you meet someone that you watch. You become very close to that person. You share the unlikely horrible struggle of infertility. Still manage stay friends through the ups and downs of life.Have different pasts and food choices.Through it all we have been able to show each other kindness. Could you imagine we showed more people the true meaning of kindness. The unlikely friendships we could have. I like to think of it like animal kingdom often we show the unlikely friendships of other animals alligator and chicken. My favorite dog and deer. If other animals can show kindness we can too. Channon motto on her youtube channel at the end of most videos with her family is sending all my love and positive energy. We should pass that on be sending more positive energy to others. When we do that means kindness counts. So to my friend I figured i would make a vegan recipe that literally everyone can enjoy. Candied Pecans or Almonds Ingredients 2 cups of pecans or almonds 1/2 cup white sugar 1/2 cup brown sugar 1 cup of maple syrup 1 tablespoon vanilla extract 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon parchment paper baking sheet The trick I learned is with nuts put them freezer they last longer. You always toast them. Again one of the reasons or benefits of being home you watch a lot of Rachel Ray! Now back to recipe I used a cast iron. I through all the pecans on the cast iron toasted them until hot and it made the house smells great. Then take them out set them aside. Pour the maple syrup vanilla,salt ,white and brown sugar. Once dissolved and reduced add all the ingredients to the pan pecans let it get coated.The smell is so fragrant that need some cheering up strongly suggest making it. Happiness in a pan. Once everything is coated spray some non stick parchment paper add the mixture bake in the oven 350 degrees for about 10-15 mins take out of oven sprinkle more brown sugar. Serve. If you make this send me pictures instagram and Ill repost. Be a friend show kindness counts to them. Friendships are often shown through love positive energy and kindness. Making those count.

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