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This is the email I sent to get sacramento kings attention! I did! However they did ask If anybody else like our family. So if you are handicap sacramento surrounding area contact me. Said it would help my case. So I am doing just that. Back story I sent this email to 16 people only one person offered a phone call to hear me! This is the email sent. I couldn't find sacramento kings owners email. Only other person I would try. If given the chance. Kindness Counts JM Dear someone (this email got someone attention to look into it ) Hi my name is Jessica murphy I have lived Sacramento my whole life. As well my husband who is powered wheelchair cerbal palsy. Now I could give you some love story how we love the kings! How are kids have ton merchandise of the kings and that we do attend games. But this is the part I really need to listen too. We often see tickets for this price or Groupon sometimes offered from season ticket holders or family friends as gifts to us. But fine print dosen't include handicap accesible area. When it was arco arena we would be gifted or simply go box off trade tickets often or was for upper level no problem enjoyed the game. For the new arena not the case or the option. All I am asking if your reading this. Is let our family have the same accesibilty to the tickets on groupon or if gifted the accommodations. Because what often happens is that handicap seats more expensive where there are. Understandable but we are being punished mainly my husband because nothing of his fault simply for him being wheelchair. We are family four boys all under age 13. It would simply be nice to get affordable seat for our family sit together. Or at some point for my husband and his kid sit together. This is no fault but the system. All I pleading is that very depressing watching tickets go on sale or Groupon living social ect we can't even purchase because we don't fit the bill. Of what would be affordable. We simply asking not be punished for dad husband friend family member being in powered wheelchair. For the record often what happens is some representative will call try ask sell us season tickets. That is absolutely NOT what I am asking often insult. I need someone higher up to see my plea and make it fair. For family who simply loves the Sacramento kings! Jessica Murphy Family four boys two adopter foster care converted kings 2 under 2 who will be born kings fans
Aunt Cindy'S CHEESE DIP!
Ever met someone that you just click with? Aunt Cindy is on Braden’s side of the family. She lives down the street from me. So close, that I might run into her at the Target drive-up or at the local Trader Joe’s. With that being said, she has this cheese dip. It's to die for. No really, I ask for it all the time. I think I even asked for it at my wedding. But, I for sure ask for it for my 30th birthday. Except Aunt Cindy holds out. I have tried and tried over the years to make it on my own. As I type this, I already asked to make it with her. Because, on my own, I never can make it the same as her’s. But, this time, I'm like no way are we going to do it together. I'm going to see how she makes this magic. How did I discover this magic? At Sunday School. No, not actual Sunday School. Before the pandemic, Braden’s family often got together on Sundays. His family has a lot of siblings, and cousins so it’s always at someone’s house. It's like a pot- luck, everyone brings something. Basically everyone chit-chats. And sometimes there are games like domino trains. And, if you haven't guessed it, I have a big personality. I always loved going to these get-togethers. I get to catch up, eat food, & play games. This is where I discovered Aunt Cindy’s cheese dip. This is where Aunt Cindy & I developed a bond. She often talked to me. I won't say she's old but she's a nice lady, who always involved me and my kid’s life. She always has something in her dang pocket for kids even if we randomly bump into her at a store. Even at a pet store she will still have something for kids. Over the years we have been work out partners. She is MY back up a person if I needs help. She is an all around good lady with some awesome cheese dip. If you think I'm joking here are few times I have asked, yes, asked, like during holidays, asked for it for my birthday and my kid’s birthdays, for the Super Bowl, and any and all planned Sunday Schools. All other times she just makes me make my own batches. Between the pandemic and us “next generation” having babies, Sunday School slowed down. But thanks for Sunday School because of Aunt Cindy’s kindness, and always making cheese dip. She knows my little six-pack loves it. And with her always being Aunt Cindy. I known her plan is to show kindness and always having a bag of tricks for the nieces and nephews. Kindness counts even with simple things like a recipe. Kindness Counts JM Bonus Aunt Cindy’s cheese dip Best Food’s mayo Sharp shredded cheddar cheese. Green onion ingredients cheese mayo Mix, refrigerate & add green onion nicely coat the cheese let it sit fridge and ENJOY Ritz Crackers Dip Congratulations I have had blog for a year! 8-8-20 Thank me later
As a mom who has 2 adopted kids, I think is important to take the kids back to where they’re from. We did just that. I even asked the social worker for food recommendations. We got to talk about life before adoption-before us and now. I'm not afraid talk to my kids about the past. Just something for me to get to know them. They’re also free to talk about it. My job now is to teach my kids. They need to be taught respect and proper boundaries. So far my kids are super respectful. I'm lucky they choose that. Well, we went and saw where they were from. We did drive around. Now we did new things and made new memories. One bonus on the trip was the elevator broke so our room got upgraded. The restaurant recommendation was delicious. We added new memories to the brain. We created our own family memories. By far, this trip was a fun experience. Kindness for me is: We all need a break, to be able check out, relax, we did just that. We got out of our day to day surroundings. Took a blast from the past and launched the future, talking about our hopes and dreams. Long car rides are great for talking about the past, present, and future. Also, taking turns listening to everyone’s music of choice. Show some kindness, take a break. Kindness counts when you take a break. JM KINDNESS COUNTS
Get to Know ME !
Hi I am Jessica My favorite color is neon pink. I'm obsessed with who is the princess and the queen in my family unit. I Love to cook and am more of the random home cook. My love language is gifts. I love to be the center of attention and surprises. My favorite stores are HomeGoods &T.J.Max. I attended therapy. My favoriteTV show is Grey’s Anatomy. For the last 13 years my husband and I made that our date night and TV show. My favorite singer is Pink. However, in my younger years it was Britney Spears (hashtag free Brittney). My celebrity crush is Adam Sandler. My favorite actress of all time was Britney Murphy, RIP! My favorite disney movie beauty and the beast! I had a traumatic childhood with both parents dealing with substance abuse & neglecting me. As a child I dealt with incarceration and physical altercations between my parents. Yes, those altercations were never ok. With that being said, I’ve learned from those experiences and have taken the time to try and heal myself. Those experiences have made me who I strive to be. Both as a parent & as an individual. I'm not perfect but strive to break the cycle. I don't like substance abuse and have chosen to be careful through out life. My fear of becoming an addict has been mentioned before. I was and am an addict of food. I met my husband at 19. We have been together for 13 years and married almost 10 years. Our favorite team is the Sacramento Kings and I'm a Raiders fan. On vacation, our are favorite thing is to find arcades. My personality is sassy and feisty. Some people like it some don"t. I have about 7 tattoos, the first being Beauty and the Beast dancing on my right thigh. There is a princess crown behind my ear. “I love you” is on my foot in my mom’s handwriting. Seven lady bugs-lady luck are on my left foot. Mickey & Minnie Mouse are on my neck. There is a Disney princess on my wrist. I'm sure there will be a few more in my future. I want my kid’s names and a couple more Disney theme tattoos. I have a huge scar on my tongue. I bit it off when I was younger causing it to grow back together giving me a slight lisp. I struggle with grammar and spelling due to the lack of resources given to me as child but, as everyone sees, I try hard. That wasn’t always due to my lack of education. It was the extra support that I lacked. I have been a professional poker player’s wife, a professional comedian’s wife, and now a grass-roots politician’s wife. But, my main role is just being me, being a caregiver, a friend, a family support system. I have adopted two boys, both school age when adopted. They’re honestly the coolest kids I know. I am not in contact with the adopted kid’s bio-family but open to it, depending on circumstances. I have a brother who is 2 months & four days younger than me, however we were not raised with the thought process that kids come first. There has always been a divide. And, being so close in age, I can say there is a twin complex just not from the same womb. Plus, there are a few other siblings to whom I am not close. My favorite coffee is iced chai soy milk plus toffee nut from Starbucks. If Dutch they kinda just get me on the advertising. Everywhere else, I order iced Caramel macchiato. At home I do all kinds of mixtures. My favorite author is Ellen Hopkins and I have almost all of my books signed by her. My favorite weather is fall because I love rocking sweatshirts. I love California, but Inside everywhere, they keep things cold. My favorite holiday is my birthday lol. However, I wanted it to be an actual holiday like Christmas! My religious belief’s are Christian but I’m not attached to a church. My favorite scent is Love Spell from Victoria’s Secret. My worst habit is-I yell when frustrated, say mean things, then calm down & apologize. But, takes me a while to break from this bad habit. I’m closer to my husband’s side of the family than my own. My favorite animal is probably the elephant because they only have one mate and they do have excellent memory. My favorite flower is pink tulips! One big thing that I advocate for is the homeless. I love to garden & currently have some vegetables in the garden. I’ll probably update more in the next couple of posts. My favorite kindness thing I love to do is pay for the person behind me. I love leaving little surprise treats on my neighbors and friends doorstep. I did this before Covid. My insecurity is I believe that no one truly likes me. Even when someone does hang out with me, you still don’t like me. Something commonly asked is how long did I struggle with infertility. The answer is 10 years! Has my husband always been in wheelchair? Yes! What do I dream about now to make a small difference? My favorite thing about my family is we stand out: I have two Hispanic adoptive children, Two biological kids, and a Husband in wheelchair. If that doesn’t spark curiosity then what will? My political beliefs can never be articulated correctly but I’m all over the place except for key issues. My favorite flavors are salty and savory. My favorite candy bar is Payday. Pet peeves are flaking on me on day of the event, not having break lights and using the word “moist”. I have anxiety panic attacks, post partum depression, and depression. My blog started out on how to spread kindness and make it count. So I try to practice that every Tuesday. Lol. No just in general, mainly start inside out. This blog is the kindness to myself. Anyways kindness counts!
My first Trip too the ER W/ Kids
Hello whAT SHOULD I CALL YOU?
I have, until this time, only been to the ER for myself, not for friends, family, or relatives. In that moment my life flashed RED. However, now things are better! We are just recovering from it. Owen fell down eating ice cream. I was cleaning him up and as he was getting out, the high chair slipped out from under him. We were outside dining. So with the amount of blood coming from his head I knew immediately, “ER visit!” He got two staples in his head and nothing to numb the pain. Just the bam! bam! of the staple gun. He will get them taken out. By the time that happens he might even have forgotten it ever happened. However since Covid, the rule is only one parent inside the building at a time. For four hours I was holding Owen's head until I broke & said I had to pee and handed him off. Naturally, I thought it should be to his father! Finally security broke the rules after I said, “Owen and I could wait outside.” He gave us hospital blankets, so we could wait for the doctor to help figure out what care Owen needed. But, with that being said, it was super nice of the Dr. to give Owen a Teddy bear. My family and my husband’s family stepped up to the plate and made sure, in a moment’s notice, that everyone was taken care of. We all worked as a team. Our little family’s motto is: All for one and one for all. That's exactly what happened. Sometimes it's just family inside the family showing kindness. As a mom who just went through this, these are some of the things I wish I had had in my car for an emergency. If this happens to you tell, your family to bring these things since they not provided in an ER visit. I now have a back pack besides a diaper bag in my car in case of an emergency: Sweatshirt, hand sanitizer, toys for a child, water, kid friendly snacks (anything that lasts a long time), butt wipes because the hospital’s are gross, small blanket (because ER visits take a long time), portable phone charger, change of clothes for the kids, I even put a mask in because I realized we should especially do that in the ER. At first I was very frustrated because I wanted my kid to come first. At the end of the day hospital’s have a system. I had to have patience letting adults go before my child, even checking out before My child. But to practice kindness-because I’m sure emergencies unfortunately, will happen again-I plan on leaving a Starbucks card and a Thank You card in my emergency bag so that I can show a little extra kindness and show I’m thankful for the service they’re doing because I’m sure Er staff are never thanked or shown kindness in place that is full of pain. They are expected take care of you immediately and follow up with a primary doctor. They are told to fix the problem, now. To show some more kindness I’m going to keep Thank You cards in my car for emergencies for something that I think is not thanked enough. At the end of the day I bet the kindness I could show would count towards a thankless job! Kindness counts Jessica Murphy
@littleloeybabe (shes on instagram) I bought formula For my baby two days ago! When I went to go open the container. Note nearly scared me because never had something slip out! Low an behold cash instruction and specifically said treat myself to coffee or on the baby. I’m coffee queen so it will be that! Thank you for your kindness counted for me today. I’m finally on the rise of my baby finally healing month long thrush! #kindesscounts #pro-sensitve #similac honestly good karma! ps. Happy 4th USA
A Politician’s Wife
I became a political wife by living in the system. Laws and rules made for me, but are broken. However I have no business criticizing as I don't understand them fully. My husband wants to make a change. He sees the problems and he can articulate it way better than I can. So, I have now fully put our family out there to be scrutinized. Thank goodness we are pretty open book. I don’t think there is going to be any dark secret that is going to come out or that we did anything shady in our past to make our family an example. Sure we made some mistakes and sure we already have Facebook groups created to come after us. We are open about our religion which is non-denominational. My husband is agnostic. We are honest about having no idea what denomination our adoptive kids birth family is. So these are things that could put us under attack. We discussed this and said we are willing to go forward. We became political as a family when system’s broken rules and laws that began to effect our family. I don’t really want to go into policies or beliefs. However, I think my viewpoint is to say we thought about being kind and that people are people. So, now I’m on a journey to support my husband with a huge grassroots campaign. That means my kids are involved and take on the task with us. Our campaign has gotten business cards and signs and it’s really happening. The hope is to win, but also to open the eyes to something that needs change. I have to choose kindness because I am now forced to be uncomfortable and show my biggest support to my husband to make this really happen. I must be respectful and nice to people I meet instead of having a resting bitch-face. I have to open the conversation to explain why he is running and what changes for which he would like to advocate. I must practice communication for the kids. These are things at which am not very good. However, I find it important to him and frankly to many other people. If we don't create change how can we make our small part of the world a better place? At the end of the day I would like to talk to people and help my husband help others on a much bigger scale. So I definitely have his back the whole way through. You never know if you don’t try. It makes me think to talk to other kind people in the world. Now it’s time to make kindness count. Jessica Murphy Kindness counts Husband website www.bradenforboe.com
Changing for A Healthier Me
Hi, I am Jessica. I am 30 years old. I am just now learning how to heal and make healthier lifestyle changes. With that being said I didn't grow up knowing what fruit and vegetables were. Heck I thought water was a treat. My favorite beverage from a young age has always been Pepsi! However, breaking the cycle, I'm trying to make the mental switch to a healthier lifestyle. By healthier lifestyle I am talking about how I got myself overweight. It was because I thought I wasn't good enough and I thought eating healthy was expensive. That's not the case, it's propaganda that was told to me. However, as I go, I am learning more and more. I got fat after my marriage-I mean huge. I fed myself telling myself I was happy. I had such a food issue I would eat what I was bringing to a meeting to make sure I would get some. It was so bad that a few times I entered and attended a 12-step meeting to do with my food obsession (before covid). Food is good and I love to cook. However, the problem for me, is that I will consume stuff I don't really like and am brainwashed to finish what's on my plate. “Don't waste food.” However, sayings like this can be damaging in my opinion. Instead of physically beating myself up, I got swollen and fat from overeating. I was making sure I got the delicious thing. I finished what was on my plate. I looked at the scale and saw 199 pounds and then thought,”Keep going, you are not at 200,(pounds) yet.” That's where It gets dangerous. Luckily during pregnancy I got skinnier. However I hadn't gotten healthier. I am just now trying my hardest to make healthier choices like adding vegetables and water to my daily diet. What I'm working with is: Starch meat and vegetables. Same with breakfast: Protein, starch and fruit. That is practicing self-care. How do I make healthier choices? By thinking first-what is the healthier choice and making that an action. I need my relationship with food to get way better. I don’t need to always feed the cravings. I need to use my dollars better and pick fruit and vegetables. I need to make sure I’m hydrated. I need to make sure I’m eating fuel for the body, not a crash course on getting gratification of something delicious. Working from home I go to Starbucks and Dutch bros just for a chance to talk to another human, besides talking to just the kids and husband. Dutch Bros. is the best for that. However, that’s just an excuse. I have the excuse: I’m a caregiver, the excuse of it’s hard, the excuse of all excuses, all just babble. At the end of the day, I need to support myself and get healthier so I don’t struggle for the time I’m on this earth. The time is now, to treat me nicely. The more I get healthier and make healthier choices the more I will lead by example for my children and a chance for them to have a healthier relationship with mind, body and soul. My current weight is what it is. It’s really not about weight but, just me being accountable and honest. I would like to physically be better at doing things. I have physically liked my first choice: To grab water instead of soda or get an apple instead of a bag chips, take my vitamins, work out and go on walks consistently, have a better relationship with a healthy lifestyle. Feel free to reach out to me on Instagram or Tik Tok to just support one another support. Healthier choices are choosing kindness for yourself. Choose to be a better kinder person to you. So kindness counts. Jessica Murphy Kindness Counts
The first problem (of many) is that my kid's teeth fell out. You would think it would be no big deal. Join the club of being a parent. However, not going into too much detail, my kids' bio parents are not in the picture. If something should to happen to the kids I wouldn’t have a record of their DNA, I then went on this long search of why I should keep my kids' teeth. It's a question I am often faced with in adopting, is trying to make the right call medically. It’s a guessing game. But at the same time I’m going with my gut. I think this is something not often talked about: the what-ifs. Going with the my gut for the child later. Another random struggle is when you adopt in California they automatically change the birth certificate to you as if you are the one that birthed them. However, I did not birth them. It doesn't bother me it is just a bit weird for me to tell the hospital time & date when I was nowhere in attendance. I now take credit on paper for something I didn't do and it's legal. I find that kinda rough. Adoption through the foster care system is not beautiful. Adoption is more on working on myself. Working through their stuff helps heal & guides them to be better humans. I am by no means perfect but I do brag that I adopted my kids. Coming from my childhood I have tried to give to them what I wish I had gotten. I know what it feels like to be neglected due to drug addiction. When I do brag it opens up the conversation of adoption. There is some horror story that the parents did something wrong & then the kids were put into the foster system. It was a system that decided that they needed care elsewhere. That system often can stigmatize. Often, the oxycontin drug pandemic has created a situation where kids just need parents or any caregiver to care for them. With love. Love meaning accepting who they deserve to be as a kid. On another note, if you haven't seen the movie “Instant Family” with Mark Wahlberg I strongly suggest watching it. If you thought about foster/adoption use that as a reference. Adoption is a weird thing. I definitely think that it makes life a little more interesting, if life is not interesting enough. It makes you think more outside of the box doing what is always best for your child. Where am I going with this? Kindness. A lot of times, when other kids find out they are adopted, the first question asked is where are their parents? I answer in my head the Karen answer, “I am their parent”. Or that the birth parents are always thinking about them, when my kids didn't facilitate these questions or blank statements. These are things that I think need to be talked about but also I think things need to be thought about a little more before blurting stuff out. At the end of the day, I'm their parent. People who parent the child are the parents. So, I would say we can all show more kindness to parents and kids who have been adopted. Treat adopted families like anybody else. Don't be afraid to ask the parents questions. But also think a little harder, with some kindness, about the burning question you want to know. Going forward ask with kindness so the question always counts. I can be less of a Karen with my sassy quick wit saying, ”I'm the parent.” Kindness counts Jessica Murphy
Have you ever wondered what the lines are on the asphalt parking next to a handicap parking spot? Or that a handicap sign says, “Van-accessible”? It's for families like us with a wheelchair. We use a big lift to get in and out. Those are meant for when the lift comes out. So why am I writing about something so small? Just in case you decide to be in the thought process of parking your car or motorcycle in the lines reserved for a “Van accessible” parking spot. Our family utilizes it. It gives us a chance to safely get my husband out. We use it because If we used a non-handicapped parking spot someone could block us. Then we’re trying to figure out who's car it is, waiting for them to move. It sometimes becomes a safety hazard if we don't use it. When we don't have a safe spot our next safest option is to park far away & hope no one parks next to us. But it doesn't always work that way. If someone does park next to us, I have to pull forward, put my hazard lights on, deploy the lift, get my husband in the lift, then buckle his seat belt. Since we’re not parking in a proper spot some cars think we’re just blocking traffic. Then I have to take the time to say the wheelchair is getting loaded. Road rage can happen ‘til they look on the other side & see the actual lift and wheelchair. Then there are times where I need to take this specific vehicle for something like an oil change. On that occasion, it is illegal for me to use it personally to park in the handicapped spot because I, myself and my children are not physically handicapped. People get mad at me because they don’t understand it is a full-time job to maintain a vehicle to do things like utilizing the ramp. Sometimes I’ve got to get the ramp out so I can load groceries. So next time you’re out and about pay attention to those tiny little details. Just remember there might be a five-foot two wife just trying to get her family to and from places safely. And if you see someone park in the lines explain to them why they need to be open. Be a little kinder with the handicapped parking spaces. This might be the only option the family or person has for safety. Kindness always counts while driving I try to practice kindness myself driving we all got to get to and from places. Jessica Murphy Kindness counts
Care Giver Burn-out
I have four kids, a handicapped husband, plus myself. These are all-in, a total of 24/7, 365 days of the year. How did I get burn-out during a pandemic where you really couldn’t ask for help? The risk in asking for help was getting Covid. WHICH SET ME OVER the EDGE. Getting vaccinated! my life is actually opening back up! I can truly ask for help! I can send my kids to their friend’s house, ask my friends to watch the kids at their house, ask grandma or grandpa or great aunts for help. The list is finally opening up. To reach out and be able to do it all. How did I discover I was burned-out? I physically couldn’t get myself to take a shower. I was getting sleepy when driving, to a point where I would rather have things delivered than do it myself. These things sound silly, but true. Lots of mis-communication with my husband over caregiving, our relationship, etc. I could no long look forward to putting on an outfit, makeup, or hygiene for myself. But the breaking point was I needed something to hold me accountable. I put off therapy for 5 months. Just the thought of calling them was too much. Countless other things like spending time with the kids and having kids helping cook were my favorite things that I could no longer bring myself to do. I booked myself a therapy appointment and got everything off my chest. My favorite part is that I let so much out that my therapist said you only have 2 mins left. But, this was the first step in the right direction. Now I am writing this because I know I'm not alone. But when you’re in it you feel alone. Now the actual work is going to be me getting back to me. It’s going to take some time to recover. Burn out-like depression-can sneak up on you. However, I don't want it to happen for me and my kids. It's time I take actual steps to put myself first. Putting me first is very confusing because how can I do that when my plate is full? Beyond full. The number one step is to ask for help. There is not really an excuse anymore. Things are lifting. How can you do it all and never ask for help or a break? So, how can I let go of my ego and actually get help? Next up, how am I supposed to have confidence in myself if I don't take care of myself? I could schedule time for myself to get pretty and ready for me. Taking like 15 mins three days a week to slap make-up on my face. Take actual breaks, I don't always have to take the kids on the walk or drive with me. Mom's guilt gets me but, I can do these things by myself for a short mental break. I have the equipment for working out. My kids don't always have to have every area of the house. And for another way of planning to get a break is by putting all the kids down and staying up with a friend or husband to watch a movie. Or getting up early before the kids and meditating. These things I need to practice. Because, at the end of the day I wasn’t kind to myself. How am I supposed to preach kindness counts when I’m emotionally and physically neglected? Jessica Murphy Kindness count
I had to take a break for a minute because of life. Owen was teething, his molars came in. It was rough. I’m prepping for my summer garden. I chose to get the vaccine but the side effects knocked me out. It set me back because, with a family of six, I was unable to do much. I had to catch up on laundry! Where have I been homesteading, laundry, cooking? After I got back into action, I was running my washer and it took a dump, lol. So now I just need to finish my boy's bedding. This momma is back on track! Also, we got a new van so, check my Instagram out & see the pictures. We have enough space for all of the kids plus one or two family members or friends to join us. We are currently planning a family vacation to San Diego and maybe a quick stop in LA. Some things I have for this blog & making it a priority, is because it makes me happy. It’s self-care and explaining how I do it. Tips and tricks. Some cooking recipes I created. Some adoptive struggles I have had to go through. Some parenting hacks I learned with the age groups. I’ve got a newborn and up to a 12 year old. Basic handicap hacks & struggles. Those that are coming. I am starting to type in the night now that the baby is sleeping longer. Also, I had to learn how to renew my site. Lol. If you are reading this, I love and appreciate you. I'm coming back better than ever. Garden stuff up next. Then adoption struggles. Kindness things that I am trying to practice daily. Then after three new blog posts, if I get you guys to share and like, I will do a give away and also, a personal letter from me. Welcome back, nice to see you: As I like to say: Kindness counts. I'm here to make my blog count as kindness to myself.