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The first problem (of many) is that my kid's teeth fell out. You would think it would be no big deal. Join the club of being a parent. However, not going into too much detail, my kids' bio parents are not in the picture. If something should to happen to the kids I wouldn’t have a record of their DNA, I then went on this long search of why I should keep my kids' teeth. It's a question I am often faced with in adopting, is trying to make the right call medically. It’s a guessing game. But at the same time I’m going with my gut. I think this is something not often talked about: the what-ifs. Going with the my gut for the child later. Another random struggle is when you adopt in California they automatically change the birth certificate to you as if you are the one that birthed them. However, I did not birth them. It doesn't bother me it is just a bit weird for me to tell the hospital time & date when I was nowhere in attendance. I now take credit on paper for something I didn't do and it's legal. I find that kinda rough. Adoption through the foster care system is not beautiful. Adoption is more on working on myself. Working through their stuff helps heal & guides them to be better humans. I am by no means perfect but I do brag that I adopted my kids. Coming from my childhood I have tried to give to them what I wish I had gotten. I know what it feels like to be neglected due to drug addiction. When I do brag it opens up the conversation of adoption. There is some horror story that the parents did something wrong & then the kids were put into the foster system. It was a system that decided that they needed care elsewhere. That system often can stigmatize. Often, the oxycontin drug pandemic has created a situation where kids just need parents or any caregiver to care for them. With love. Love meaning accepting who they deserve to be as a kid. On another note, if you haven't seen the movie “Instant Family” with Mark Wahlberg I strongly suggest watching it. If you thought about foster/adoption use that as a reference. Adoption is a weird thing. I definitely think that it makes life a little more interesting, if life is not interesting enough. It makes you think more outside of the box doing what is always best for your child. Where am I going with this? Kindness. A lot of times, when other kids find out they are adopted, the first question asked is where are their parents? I answer in my head the Karen answer, “I am their parent”. Or that the birth parents are always thinking about them, when my kids didn't facilitate these questions or blank statements. These are things that I think need to be talked about but also I think things need to be thought about a little more before blurting stuff out. At the end of the day, I'm their parent. People who parent the child are the parents. So, I would say we can all show more kindness to parents and kids who have been adopted. Treat adopted families like anybody else. Don't be afraid to ask the parents questions. But also think a little harder, with some kindness, about the burning question you want to know. Going forward ask with kindness so the question always counts. I can be less of a Karen with my sassy quick wit saying, ”I'm the parent.” Kindness counts Jessica Murphy
Have you ever wondered what the lines are on the asphalt parking next to a handicap parking spot? Or that a handicap sign says, “Van-accessible”? It's for families like us with a wheelchair. We use a big lift to get in and out. Those are meant for when the lift comes out. So why am I writing about something so small? Just in case you decide to be in the thought process of parking your car or motorcycle in the lines reserved for a “Van accessible” parking spot. Our family utilizes it. It gives us a chance to safely get my husband out. We use it because If we used a non-handicapped parking spot someone could block us. Then we’re trying to figure out who's car it is, waiting for them to move. It sometimes becomes a safety hazard if we don't use it. When we don't have a safe spot our next safest option is to park far away & hope no one parks next to us. But it doesn't always work that way. If someone does park next to us, I have to pull forward, put my hazard lights on, deploy the lift, get my husband in the lift, then buckle his seat belt. Since we’re not parking in a proper spot some cars think we’re just blocking traffic. Then I have to take the time to say the wheelchair is getting loaded. Road rage can happen ‘til they look on the other side & see the actual lift and wheelchair. Then there are times where I need to take this specific vehicle for something like an oil change. On that occasion, it is illegal for me to use it personally to park in the handicapped spot because I, myself and my children are not physically handicapped. People get mad at me because they don’t understand it is a full-time job to maintain a vehicle to do things like utilizing the ramp. Sometimes I’ve got to get the ramp out so I can load groceries. So next time you’re out and about pay attention to those tiny little details. Just remember there might be a five-foot two wife just trying to get her family to and from places safely. And if you see someone park in the lines explain to them why they need to be open. Be a little kinder with the handicapped parking spaces. This might be the only option the family or person has for safety. Kindness always counts while driving I try to practice kindness myself driving we all got to get to and from places. Jessica Murphy Kindness counts
Care Giver Burn-out
I have four kids, a handicapped husband, plus myself. These are all-in, a total of 24/7, 365 days of the year. How did I get burn-out during a pandemic where you really couldn’t ask for help? The risk in asking for help was getting Covid. WHICH SET ME OVER the EDGE. Getting vaccinated! my life is actually opening back up! I can truly ask for help! I can send my kids to their friend’s house, ask my friends to watch the kids at their house, ask grandma or grandpa or great aunts for help. The list is finally opening up. To reach out and be able to do it all. How did I discover I was burned-out? I physically couldn’t get myself to take a shower. I was getting sleepy when driving, to a point where I would rather have things delivered than do it myself. These things sound silly, but true. Lots of mis-communication with my husband over caregiving, our relationship, etc. I could no long look forward to putting on an outfit, makeup, or hygiene for myself. But the breaking point was I needed something to hold me accountable. I put off therapy for 5 months. Just the thought of calling them was too much. Countless other things like spending time with the kids and having kids helping cook were my favorite things that I could no longer bring myself to do. I booked myself a therapy appointment and got everything off my chest. My favorite part is that I let so much out that my therapist said you only have 2 mins left. But, this was the first step in the right direction. Now I am writing this because I know I'm not alone. But when you’re in it you feel alone. Now the actual work is going to be me getting back to me. It’s going to take some time to recover. Burn out-like depression-can sneak up on you. However, I don't want it to happen for me and my kids. It's time I take actual steps to put myself first. Putting me first is very confusing because how can I do that when my plate is full? Beyond full. The number one step is to ask for help. There is not really an excuse anymore. Things are lifting. How can you do it all and never ask for help or a break? So, how can I let go of my ego and actually get help? Next up, how am I supposed to have confidence in myself if I don't take care of myself? I could schedule time for myself to get pretty and ready for me. Taking like 15 mins three days a week to slap make-up on my face. Take actual breaks, I don't always have to take the kids on the walk or drive with me. Mom's guilt gets me but, I can do these things by myself for a short mental break. I have the equipment for working out. My kids don't always have to have every area of the house. And for another way of planning to get a break is by putting all the kids down and staying up with a friend or husband to watch a movie. Or getting up early before the kids and meditating. These things I need to practice. Because, at the end of the day I wasn’t kind to myself. How am I supposed to preach kindness counts when I’m emotionally and physically neglected? Jessica Murphy Kindness count
I had to take a break for a minute because of life. Owen was teething, his molars came in. It was rough. I’m prepping for my summer garden. I chose to get the vaccine but the side effects knocked me out. It set me back because, with a family of six, I was unable to do much. I had to catch up on laundry! Where have I been homesteading, laundry, cooking? After I got back into action, I was running my washer and it took a dump, lol. So now I just need to finish my boy's bedding. This momma is back on track! Also, we got a new van so, check my Instagram out & see the pictures. We have enough space for all of the kids plus one or two family members or friends to join us. We are currently planning a family vacation to San Diego and maybe a quick stop in LA. Some things I have for this blog & making it a priority, is because it makes me happy. It’s self-care and explaining how I do it. Tips and tricks. Some cooking recipes I created. Some adoptive struggles I have had to go through. Some parenting hacks I learned with the age groups. I’ve got a newborn and up to a 12 year old. Basic handicap hacks & struggles. Those that are coming. I am starting to type in the night now that the baby is sleeping longer. Also, I had to learn how to renew my site. Lol. If you are reading this, I love and appreciate you. I'm coming back better than ever. Garden stuff up next. Then adoption struggles. Kindness things that I am trying to practice daily. Then after three new blog posts, if I get you guys to share and like, I will do a give away and also, a personal letter from me. Welcome back, nice to see you: As I like to say: Kindness counts. I'm here to make my blog count as kindness to myself.
OWEN Braden and I where married fairly young. We were Both 22, We choose our honeymoon to go too New York. Braden loved New York because of comedy I loved it because I'm secretly In love with Adam Sandler my celebrity crush! Well it's not secret I just love Adam and always have! We arrived the week of united nations so it was packed with cars police officers security guards. I was excited! So many movies based in New York. I was going to see all the movie spots. Especially the one from BIG DADDY! It was very exciting. I was looking forward to time square and central park and of course New York slice of pizza. I get to be with my new Husband! I got to stay fancy hotel see the Macy mall many other sites. It was going to be a great time. During this time not everything goes as planned but what was planned central park. We rented bikes. We did are own tour of the park. I was super excited for the scene where Adam throws the stick to make the roller bladders fall From the movie Big Daddy. Adam sandler is always be my celebrity crush! i think hes top notch! We made it spot near bench hear kinda high pitch sound kid was yelling wheelchair wheelchair. My husband obviously was in his chair as I rode the bike. We made it part just open path a lot of benches to sit on. The sound of the kid yelling caused us to kind turn around see why he was so interested. This is the part I get emotional about. We turned arounf and began with the typical Hi hello. Then they said the boy that was so intrested in powered wheelchair and in umberlla stroller was waiting to get his very own wheelchair. The reason he was waiting was because few months earlier a 16 year old drunk driver had hit the family. The older siblings got out wheelchairs but he wasnt fortunate enough would be in a wheelchair for life. I just remember the moms face. Here we are on our honeymoon. I think first time that mom saw hope for son that he could date have potental of normal life. This little kid had whole lot of life to look ahead. I think the parents had a reassureance of life ahead of them. So as conversation why they where in town. It was because Shaq had paid for ther trip to new york. For one of the charities he sponsored or co owns. I have reached out to Shaq before to see if he knew the family from Sept - Oct 3 2012. But you know its hard to get a hold of celebrity. I dont remember family from Utah or Ohio. however I do know the Son I named after my Son was Named Owen, So that I could always tell the story love exist no matter what. That you should number one never drink and drive. That no matter circumstance you have potential. Love wins. I forever get to tell the Story of Owen. Jose And Adrian Now in foster care you can change the kids name. But its highly reccomended you dont It can cause idenity problem.Espically School age. Just odd tidbit in california when you adopt they change birth certificate to where the adoptive parents basically birthed them. Im sure legistics. However makes things ids passports licenses much easier for the kids to get. Now my kids have a cool thing to there names. Jose is named after his Birth Dad named Jose and Adrian is Named after his birth mom Adrianna. So my boys will always have something with them. Small connection they will always have. We have nick names for kids we often call Jose Mose and Adrian Nitto. We came up with that just by bonding wtih them. It has just stuck so if you ever hear me call my kids mose or nitto Been doing it for years. Yes all the boys Have the last name Murphy legally. Brandt Bentley Mr. Brandt got his name after a golfer and teenmom OG. Let me explain. originally wanted Brayden with a Y. Since my husband name is Braden. But he often gets called Brandon Brenden. Instead of Bra-den.But i got got vittoed because He said shouldtdone that first. In the midst of covid and non politics. We watched alot of golf. The name Brandt from Brandt Snedker seemed like nice ring to it. Different nice ring to it. Easy to say and spell. Plus the golfer on the outside seems like a really cool golfer family guy thats what I my self drawn too. Homesteading and family life. Private inside but obviously try role model to the public. So we decided Brandt. Both Owen Brandt have warrior theme Owen is young warrior and Brandt means fiery flame. So Brandt came to the world 2-12-21. I will be putting this on lottery ticket. Now the Bentley Part if your Mtv Teen MOM watcher you already know. I Have always loved the way Maci Bentley mom has parented or what is shown on tv. Have gotten some my parenting tips from her. Yes im sure edits it what they want to see. Still means i still can get some useful tips. So i named middle name after awesome kid and omage to Maci kid who i think is pretty cool with a super cool name. All four Boys have a great kindness to them. Jose is always worrying about other people. Adrian is always trying to help as best he Can. Owen models there behavior and starting realize his dad diffrent and to adjust. Brandt is just trying to figure out our pack. But in the end all the boys show kindness and that names mean something. The over all theme with the Murphys JM Kindness Counts Edited Sharyn Obrigewitsch
Its Whole Lot of New
I started this whole thing In 2020! Purely joy for myself. But lucky for me odd numbers are my favorite and some of my best years! My kids adopted in odd numbers my kids born in odd numbers! I just love odd numbers! I have new baby coming soon. With the new year I wanted to share my goals. I know this pandemic has been hard and hit everyone in one way or another. Moving forward with my kindness this Blog I did vision board I wanted to share more in detail my intentions and the hope of being held accountable. I am very guilty of giving big business my money and convenience of drive up delivery. I also can admit I get a small emotional high spending money. So this year I am planning to be less wasteful with stuff I have and food. I want to spend my money and time more important things. I am lucky I have big family in my household and some other family members like my cooking. I want to use what I have like the oatmeal and beans that I never get around too, Use what I have before I restock. I plan to garden more as well. I have a bunch of seeds that I plan to be successful with and use what's in my garden. I was pretty successful with my garden last season but with gardening it is always learning experience and trial and error. I plan to focus on slow living as well I don't want to keep up with the Kardashian I want to keep up with the Murphys. I have a whole bunch of self help books and other cook books ect this year I plan on reading them and when finished immediately regifting them to people I think enjoy or donating to someone who would enjoy. Same with the kids books I don't always want to use excuse of there tablets and computers. I really want to plan real life experience's with them and playing board games learning chess. Even if this pandemic still going on I want to live more intentional living with my family. In this year of 2021 I want to get early prepared and organized life. I am constantly in a rush and addicted to my phone just as much the next. I want to really focus knowing where my phone and keys are and not spend majority of my life looking for these things. Practice more slow approach. I am also practicing more self care I can be a mom but less of a rachet mom and not use excuse not doing it. I want to be more put together even if that just means a cute outfit or my hair straightened, I am the typical hair in bun sweatshirt and go. But this year even if I am home with baby and kids just doing these small things make me feel good and boost my mood. My next big focus is going to be this blog and putting more time and energy into it. I have a better time putting my thoughts into words even if they don't make sense to people. My life is so unique with adoption wheelchair mom and just the unconventional life style. I honestly love this blog for myself. But I also like to make people think in a different perspective. I like to think with the other side of my brain as well. My goal for this blog is to build a community and share life as there will be someone who has more and less than you. I want to build a conversation. I want ideas and thoughts. I want to share how we all can be less wasteful in our lives. I want to share ideas and thoughts challenges of kindness to ourselves and others, Last but not least my overall goals this year kindness to the world is with my family and working outwards. I really love this blog and I want to show more kindness to others this year. Making kindness culture a more universal thing. I want my little group to do our part. So kindness always counts. Kindness Counts JM If you would like to share your vision board love to see send to my Instagram. My Instagram is wheelchairwife922. Blog post by me too look forward The Name Owen and Brandt What is a helper Wheelchair caregiving Adoption struggles
Christmas Day Thank you
Well its Christmas day! Christmas looks different for everyone! If your sad today that is ok your happy today that is ok. If your reading this I am extremely grateful for you! I started this whole blog because I needed outlet. If your reading this even if you don't celebrate thank you! If you do Thank you. Thank you for supporting me. Thank you taking the time going to my website. Giving me a second of your time. You are really kind for taking the time. My main goal on this blog practice kindness share my struggles and triumph and have different perspective brought to the table. Enjoy your day! Get some fresh air! Stay safe. Ill be keeping it low key! Spending time playing with my kids and enjoying some fresh air! Kindness Counts you showed kindness to me today! JM
Covid19 Survival Ideas
I am NOT DR ! Just what I did! CALL your DR if you have questions! Have you not been exposed and want to know what you should have on deck if exposed. Same except i was exposed and survived it! In my book that is a blessing! I am family of 5 soon to be 6. What I wish I would have known. First get all the basic over the counter meds. What you use. If you don't have it on hand have someone you know get you the meds.Do porch drop off(SO that person remains safe). Get yourself water,toilet paper,cough drops,gatorade pedialyte. And good thermometer. You must keep an eye out for your temperature because if it gets too high and can't break it you must go to the ER. I would also get yourself some rags to cool you down. I would calculate a check up after quarantine with Dr because of the virus you don't know how your body was attacked. In my household we all had different symptoms and different needs. I was personally one of the people lost texture,taste and smell. It's a very weird symptom sometimes when sick with regular cold you lose both those things except I think this virus is a beast. IT IS A DIFFERENT SENSATION! For the symptoms I used rags to cool me Down. I kept alexa and my phone on top of when to take my meds because of fatigue. I asked for food drop off as much as possible because if your head of household you don't want to cook! You have fatigue! If you can't taste what is the point you just need to get something in you! Liquids liquid liquids. Hydrate as often as you can. Yes you need toilet paper! IF you use bidet comes in handy as well! Take this time too rest! Yes there is HUGE range what symptoms you get! However after going through this prepare for the worst and hope for the best! So these are my recommendations what my family symptoms where! California numbers are rising like crazy! I.I was one of the people let my circle get bigger and almost cost me my husband myself and my unborn baby. I got COVID at 26 week pregnant! That was scary as HELL! IF YOUR THINKING ABOUT LETTING YOUR CIRCLE GET BIGGER LET ME BEG YOU NOT TOO! Show your family friends kindness if you can not see them based on their choice who is in there circle! I wish i wasn't selfish but I was and I made myself ILL! I've learned my lesson! i never want to be this sick ever again! KIndness counts when you learn from your mistakes and can forgive yourself. Im taking some time to recover now after surviving my family survived covid! I do believe we survived! Im practicing kindness these days starting with my family working my way out! JM KIndnessCounts *thermotor *over counter meds cough day- night basically whatever you use *timer to keep up on meds we used alexa and phones *water hydrate flush it out as much as possible *gatorade pedialyte help your kids hydrate and electrolytes *vape rub *A person run errands for you can't get it yourself so you don't expose anybody *toilet paper *tissue *essential oils help with your sense when lost *your favorite stuff comfort you pillows, blanket,stuffed animal,tv show *phone charger keep phone charged just in case you have to call 911 *diaper cream if your pregnant you pee uncontrollably no tinkle *vomit buckets *rags cool you down *kids meds again whatever your family uses *cough drops *new toothbrushes *lysol spray disinfect your whole house *goals keep you motivated stay home and get projects done even if you start feel better stay home until your dr says you can GO Back to public and work *vitamins and or kids vitamins i read zinc D3 was thing with Covid *open windows when you can get fresh air *people check on you window visit physically make sure you have not fainted or passed out if your alone *know where all your family insurance cards are or where you will go with no insurance in an emergency *podcast-music help you feel better *proning if your coughing it helped a lot *REST REST REST
Covid-19 Knocked on my door
Well let me be the first to admit I thought it was Hoax. Even after hearing about someone somebody of so and so. I thought I was invincible. Since the out Break my kids and I never got sick. The last time any of us where sick was back last february 2019. When my son had RSV but after that non of us where sick. We followed the protocol social distancing for good four months. Then we got laxed thought no way can't be us not us. BOY oh Boy was I was wrong!!!! My tight circle got bigger and i let my circle see other people besides us. I still kept to myself when have bunch kids can't really go out much anyways. But I did let the circle expand some what I did too. I went to the stores because boredom target homegoods others . I made the mistake of thinking invincible. I was finally exposed because my circle got bigger causing me to become the most vulnerable disabled husband a pregnant mom and three kids who depended on me. I was lucky because for two days I had no symptoms and as it was coming to light I through my back out! I was laid on my butt couldn't go anywhere barely made it to the bathroom. I was in excruciating pain. As I was recovering from my back. My husband started get sick. I was thinking allergies because the weather had finally gotten colder. So for a day did nothing. Just let him suffer get through it take his allergies meds. Then couple hours later cough cough. By the next night I would say I started coughing then my kids. it became a war zone, I was sick my husband who has cerebral palsy sick and all 3 kids sick. There was no time covid-19 was coming in full force. As i write this Im crying because I could have avoid this whole thing. I could have done exactly what the CDC recommended social distance keep to my house hold. Instead I powered through and thought i was invisible. I put myself my kids and everyone I was in contact with at risk. If your reading this IM SO SORRY! Back to the story..... First it wasnt itchy throat it was full on cough like where your choking cough. Dry cough try to hack but nothing coming but your literally choking on cough. I went into mom Mode nobody in nobody out. I started finding soup crackers vomit buckets meds. I ordered grocery. I didn't know how long this was going to last what was happening. I had to go into super mom wife mode. I am pregnant my husband with cerebral palsy three kids one who is one. I had to watch my husband carefully because it was taking breath away and there was definitely higher chance of him on ventilator becoming hospitalized. I had to prepare myself what I would have to live with rest of my life. My plan in a panic. I was to get everyone to there rooms and rest thank goodness kids didn't miss school and had to do this over thanksgiving break and the only thing lost was time with family and vacation. I became a watch dog.Everyone symptoms different and everyone needs different. I was fighter i honestly had no choice but to survive. I will be damned if I was going to let my family go out like this. KIDS tylenol cough drops water vitman c regualr vitmans on deck. Every single person in the house hold had to shower every day. I had to be extra careful because i Do all the transfers for my husband shower.I also had to ask for runner for things i couldn't get delivered. I was lucky and had family member outside getting me what i couldn't. Did porch drop offs. I also had the gruelling task of getting a covid test to confirm. The lines where long and It was waiting game. But couple days later confirmed I was part of the percent with cases rising. Also confirming my whole family was sick with covid. Makes me sad. I'm also mad at the outbreak. Besides the point. If it was bat I officially hate bats just by association. Husband symptoms Cough,vomiting ,bathroom (now you know why tp always gone it is symptom) shortness of breath goosebumps muscle spasms and lots of hacking.Symptoms declined but seemed to have symptoms longer than a week. Jessica coughing vomiting, running nose, basically if i didn't keep moving i would cough more causing me to struggle. So i had to keep myself going to keep the whole family going, When i was resting it was harder. I did learn on tik tok what proning was that helped me a ton! Lost taste not like when lose taste when originally sick but like can't feel textures or taste like just food sitting on top of your tongue.I absolutely hate cereal and I ate some just to use it up and eat. Normally i would never ever even try to eat it. It's not like when lose taste when sick normally. Like barely tell something in your mouth or tongue. I had few days of bathroom I think your body flushes it out in overdrive! Truth be told I rather have a day food poison then two weeks of shit show. The baby who is 1 he had night terrors,crying irritable,sniffles but seem to only have symptoms for 2-3 days Middle Child Adrian 8 cough loss of voice low energy wanted to nap ear ache one full blown week Oldest child Jose 12 less than a week low energy runny nose Who got better first Owen i didn't know I was told rsv part of different covid strand. Then I would say Jose he seemed to have the easiest time from the struggle bus then would be Adrian once he was better he had to step up help with baby and I am definitely way more grateful for his ability. I made a covid list what was our goal each day. I used alexa in full force. It reminded me who was next for meds reminded me to take all of our temperatures.Kept me on track as i was becoming more and more foggy. Laying down was dreadful for me because that is when everything come up and i would literally spit out globs of snot. As the kids got better I honestly think showers meds vitamins gatorade and rest got them better the fastest. My husband powered wheelchair and he can not move very well but flonase claritin and showers to help loosen whatever the virus was seemed to be the best meds for him. After everyone started feeling better my body finally relaxed was like hehehe time for you and virus took over. I became extremely fatigued could barely hold my eyes open. I had to create new plan what was I going to do get myself out of this mess. Showers as hot as I could take them and quick so i would get hot shower and put it on my chest so I could then cough up whatever was in my lungs. It feels like you smoked 5 packs of cigs a day and need to get a drag to feel like can breathe again was best way I could describe it. I then was loose enough and endured the netting pot. I had to get as much of mucus gonk out of me asap. I also was well aware I am pregnant wasn't going to risk delivering way to early. I am driver and ultimate runner typically in my family. So with me laid out I used amazon and safeway delivery service for what became essential for us. As i write this my taste buds are finally back but I would think with this forever altered. LIke typical things I love don't taste the same anymore. I desire those same taste but it just feels off. I also had scare of Pneumonia because I was pregnant high risk now and completely stress ball tapped out. I would say 10-10 don't recommend covid. Lesson I learned when husband says slow down he means it. If you don't want to end up marriage 20 years down the road with I told you so. Take your health mental health seriously. After experiencing covid I am now looking at those people with slow living more of understanding, I like my household alot more and alot more grateful with all the craziness. I am learning that I can't do it all but I can survive it all.I am going to be kinder to myself. I am normally a hotmess mom 24/7 hair bun and sweats. But Now I want to do more selfcare. Yes most of the time I am bun yoga pants but after this I want to do more for myself like makeup and outfits because It will just make me feel good. I want to not take for granted how to get from point a to point b kind to basic of strangers and neighbors. But with death pandemic and let me say a shit show show kindness right in front of my face. I want to take advantage of my kids being small and at home with pandemic. Literally everything I thought I could do or get to that was almost taken in moment's notice, So I plan to do those crafts leaving house a mess and have kinder heart.Covid is scary if you lost someone because of this I am so sorry. If you have gotten to skip the pandemic count lucky stars and be kind to people who gotten it. Its unruly time and you never know what's going to happen. They don't need the I told you so people. They need love support soup and meds and ride to the hospital need be, Some things can do if you have family friend ect experiencing covid! Drop off whatever common cold meds they use. Offer to take there laundry do it for them one less thing they need to do but rest. Whatever favorite meal is or soup anything to get them to eat. Offer to be the runner if they can't order it be the person can count on for the back up plan. Like I said One less thing for them to do have someone take there garbage down. There already so exhausted nice to just take it out for them. Send them text saying feel better. You are completely alone even with your family I can't describe the feeling but it's lonely. When you have to become quarantined you miss basics of people. Don't just ask what they can do see it do it. Water toilet paper lysol will come in handy. For me it was don't ring the doorbell send me a text saying it was delivered when baby kids and everyone napping resting better to keep it quiet. So send a text saying dropped off. Above all else just be kind to the people experiencing it. Moving forward I will admit I am extremely traumatized from it all. I will tighten my circle because who knows if you can or will ever get it again. I will keep more to myself. I am hoping this whole nightmare ends soon. However in this i did finally get around to starting this blog. I am really enjoying it. I am going to focus on my little family and showing my kindness more with in my circle.Kindness Counts when you make it count. If my husband reading this you will forever have my wife got me covid! I told you so moment. I bow to thee. JM Kindness Counts if you would like christmas card message address on instagram wheelchairwife922 or my email I will send you one! Dear kids and husband It was hell it was weird We made it through I love you We kicked butt in 2020 Cheers to you We puked choked Peed and pooped all too much for all of us We shared the toilets Shared the sinks Sprayed the heck out of those lysol sprays We did what we could We made it through Dear Husband and Kids I truly love you! MOm and Wife
As we know my thing with kindness counts is not just because I believe it. It is because i also need to practice it in my home life and for myself. I struggle with Kindness so I surrounded my most vulnerable thing I have is kindness. I have sassy streak and when I hurt I am a person cant reckon with. Kindness counts because if Im held accountable to my kindness I have the inattive to be kind to others and to myself.With that being said the thing I struggle with kindness is making it count spending my time and energy making it count for myself. Just like anybody else it is hard sometimes to be kind. It is so easy have the surface kindness. Sometimes it is really that deep kindness with people who are right in front of you live under roof or see on a daily basis. We are meanest to the people where the closest to as expected we should also be the kindest but we forget to practice that. Anyways I wanted to do acts of kindness with pandemic going on as I am currently recovering from COVID-19 with my family. I thought of my ideas how to show some kindness during this season, Post of covid-19 with my family will be coming soon. So stay tuned. Until then I thought what are some ways to make kindness count. These are some ideas i am going to try with my family maybe you want to try too. If you do some these tag me instagram with hashtag #kindnesscounts. * You can pay for the person behind you in any drive thru. *You can save box tops give them to your local school or friend or family member. *If you notice coupon that someone uses save it for them mail it to them so they can use it. *If you don"t cook just drop off frozen meal or tv dinners. *cook or bake dinner drop off *drop off groceries *Become a pen pal with everyone stuck at home now perfect time reach out become pen pal with people around the world or just community since social distancing. *Decorate family member or friends side walk with side walk chalk let them know miss them and care *make some humming bird water and drop off mason jar 1cup sugar 4 cups water boil dissolve deliver *Listen now the time to take time slow down and just listen hear about the hopes and dreams just really listen. * Hear what the person saying and do something to really make them feel herd and that you where hearing understanding what they where saying * Time spend time with your family like time not electronics but time with them * Where in social media area but shouting out the people you care about on any social media letting them know see them and care. *Self care do it for yourself or help someone else accomplish self care *Forgive look deep forgive we all are hurt but once forgive you can finally let it GO *paint rocks kind words put them around the neighborhood *show kindness to your family friends and strangers however that looks to you *drop off plant flowers or seed to someone *look up someone amazon wish list pay for something *Send a care package from etsy or amazon *pick up trash walk outside *Be patient and kind even feel that dont want too. These are ideas I have of course there plenty more like toilet paper lysol hand sanitizer and bunch on pinterest and google. With times being so weird. These are some things I have been thinking about to show my KIndness. I really find it important to make it count. I can"t do it all but I can make small steps show people I encounter that Kindness means alot to me to show it. Also means alot to share the kindness. I really want to practice my kindness.I want to show my kids husband no matter what little or alot we have that more importantly kindness counts. Im starting with my little family working our way out. Kindness Counts JM
Comfort MoM Soup
Well look like beginning looks like fall in my neck of the woods. Comfort to me has always been food. Food recipes and cooking looking into things didn"t really start until I was 22. I was married and decided to quit my job and caregive for my husband full time. He was professinal poker player he was working late at night. After fighting for promotion that I did not get i felt it was time for me to move on. I loved my previous job but they wouldnt let me grow and that lead me to leaving. I am prime example one door closes another opens. Now i have been caregiving full time for almost 9 years. I was free to caregive for my husband grandma my grandma and help other people with watching kids baby sitting dog sitting. My grandma was my first cooking teacher however you had to be there. I always felt intimidated by her talent. I crave her food still to this day. I also crave my hispanic aunt who was my nanny for alot of years her food. With all this extra time i had a lot of extra time on my hands right when i quit tv show called. the chew came on. That show sparked and interest for me. They cooked made it look way too easy and for first time i began to grow up.Thought if these people can cook so can I. I had other friends family try but i always needed there help. Thought that I can"t do it or how to chop and dice. There is a thing once your invested you either crash or fail. I was starting to try it not fail. I started simple as silly as it sounds making quesadilla.Not burning the food. Then I moved forward to chilis and soon i was learning simple lunches and dinners. My fiery talent was ignited. Now with big family and family living so close. I cook often. Don't get me wrong i also need break from cooking sometimes and have no problem going out to eat. However my happy place is cooking for other people. When my picky husband loves it or someone says picky with the food then has that ingredient in the dish. No problem giving myself a pat on the back. So with rain in the near future our family having tomato soup with grilled cheese. I am by far no chef I just like too cook. This is what our family is eating. Tomatoe soup 8 beef steak tomatoes 1 packet bacon 1 huge white or yellow onion 3 whole things of garlic 2 red pepper 1 1/2 cups of heavy whipping cream 1 big can crushed tomatoes tomato paste sour cream butter salt pepper basil italian seasoning olive oil vegetable stock foil Grilled cheese Sourdough bread Jar of pesto mayonnaise pepper jack cheese butter Soup Directions On a cookie sheet about 400 degree I roast the tomatoes bell pepper for 45 mins basically until soft and lightly black. Pour salt pepper olive oil. I cut the garlic open add olive oil salt pepper crunch foil in ball with galic let it roast with the rest of the stuff. The soup Pot I add olive oil and butter let it melt. I then add onion until translucent one the onions clear I add crushed tomato any can will do add more flavor add the one that has all the extra stuff in it. I was taught season every layer heard it from the cast of the chew my new obsession Rachel Ray. I absolutely love her. She is my celebrity crush before everyone loved Ellen lol. So now you have in soup pot onion crushed tomatoes and now cooled and chopped garlic tomatoes and red bell peppers.Season heavily to your taste. Add this to the pot mix and mix until cooking for id say good 20 mins. Another 10 add the heavy whipping cream, Blend we use immersion blender. While this is stewing and brewing add bacon to the oven make it super crispy cool and chop up this only toppig for the soup. Already having bread so this substitution and extra flavor the top. Once the soup Done set aside. Grilled cheese direction Take two pieces of sourdough bread spread the outside with mayo the inside spread butter then pesto. Add the pepper jack cheese. Spray some cooking non stick cook up until cheese melted set aside. My husband known for this part or hounding me about presentation. So get the soup bowel add the soup to bowel. Top with sour cream bacon And cut the cheese diagonal. Making cute triangle. Set the soup bowel on top of plate the grilled cheese on the side. Serve Kindness counts make a meal for yourself or a family member.
The hard truth
My kids are adopted yes. In my case adopted through foster care that comes with trauma because no matter what way it turns the courts decided that the kids needed a home other than the one they were born into. They were not given up for better home something had to happen for kids to get into care. The truth is because of that the my kids spend holidays with me there family but cant help but to think what there missing out on. My kids have to look at holidays different set of eyes. They look at it are we going to celebrate. Can we celebrate? If we celebrate will will we be hurting biological family. Just like life it can sometimes be hard to navigate around adoption. I also have to navigate that because i adopted I need same effort put into my kids just as much biological kids. So i often have to say you can't send gift not unless it i s all my kids. Or same with quality time with all my kids. I think that's just being mom too all I got compare to is myself. Without going into too much detail my kids are school age don't have contact with their biological parents. So because of the confusion I try to encourage them to write letter to bio parents mad happy angry explaining what there doing what is happening so when if contact ever happened the kids have something to give to them. Naturally this to them comes up around birthdays holidays. I don't make it big deal when I do get letters i give envelope promise not read put it in box where they know it is. Kids coming foster care often have stigma of wild how can you handle it. I often think there kids it is much harder dealing with difficult boss then difficult kid. I am trying really hard myself personally only positive reinforcement and when kid makes mistake to let it go only respond to the good. It is hard because where fed so much negativity. At the end should be mind over matter. Kindness over anger. Back on track to what I was saying kids have feelings too. Just like when someone passes or traumatic event remember that day. Kids have these feelings come up during the holidays. So besides letter to the kids I also created since thanksgiving coming up a feeling turkey. I saw bunch ideas pinterest craft groups but I put my own spin on it for my kids. I also been saving all my paper towel and toilet paper rolls because of the pandemic. If toilet paper going to go sparingling I am going to use every inch of what I paid for. So I have been saving for craft projects with my kids. The reason i am speaking to this because even in this craft kids have so many emtions during this season of holidays. Nice to show some emotion kindness let there feeling out meaning you can be kind but also listen with kindness. I am practicing make it count because even I sometimes don't want to suck it up deal with my own emotions or own feelings how we navigate being a family. Make a craft with your kids make the time be filled with kindness often hopefully make a good memory for them. Kindness counts JM You need toilet paper roll or paper towel roll cut in half even use the roll from left over foil googley eyes red and yellow construction paper and bunch fun color construction paper sharpie or pencil glue stick I pre cut The beaks into triangles I also added googly eyes before kids started craft. I pre cut the gobble for the turkey. I also pre cut construction into the feathers. Leaving my kids to write there feelings on the feather what that turkey or what there feelings. You can add the extra step magnetic thing make it keep sake so you have thanksgiving decor during thanksgiving. Gets kids thinking about there feelings gets conversation going. I think total cast for this craft 5 dollars and with plenty left over for future crafts.