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  • Jessica

The hard truth

My kids are adopted yes. In my case adopted through foster care that comes with trauma because no matter what way it turns the courts decided that the kids needed a home other than the one they were born into. They were not given up for better home something had to happen for kids to get into care.

The truth is because of that the my kids spend holidays with me there family but cant help but to think what there missing out on. My kids have to look at holidays different set of eyes. They look at it are we going to celebrate. Can we celebrate? If we celebrate will will we be hurting biological family. Just like life it can sometimes be hard to navigate around adoption. I also have to navigate that because i adopted I need same effort put into my kids just as much biological kids. So i often have to say you can't send gift not unless it i s all my kids. Or same with quality time with all my kids. I think that's just being mom too all I got compare to is myself.

Without going into too much detail my kids are school age don't have contact with their biological parents. So because of the confusion I try to encourage them to write letter to bio parents mad happy angry explaining what there doing what is happening so when if contact ever happened the kids have something to give to them. Naturally this to them comes up around birthdays holidays. I don't make it big deal when I do get letters i give envelope promise not read put it in box where they know it is.

Kids coming foster care often have stigma of wild how can you handle it. I often think there kids it is much harder dealing with difficult boss then difficult kid. I am trying really hard myself personally only positive reinforcement and when kid makes mistake to let it go only respond to the good. It is hard because where fed so much negativity. At the end should be mind over matter. Kindness over anger. Back on track to what I was saying kids have feelings too. Just like when someone passes or traumatic event remember that day. Kids have these feelings come up during the holidays.

So besides letter to the kids I also created since thanksgiving coming up a feeling turkey. I saw bunch ideas pinterest craft groups but I put my own spin on it for my kids. I also been saving all my paper towel and toilet paper rolls because of the pandemic. If toilet paper going to go sparingling I am going to use every inch of what I paid for. So I have been saving for craft projects with my kids.

The reason i am speaking to this because even in this craft kids have so many emtions during this season of holidays. Nice to show some emotion kindness let there feeling out meaning you can be kind but also listen with kindness. I am practicing make it count because even I sometimes don't want to suck it up deal with my own emotions or own feelings how we navigate being a family. Make a craft with your kids make the time be filled with kindness often hopefully make a good memory for them.

Kindness counts


You need

toilet paper roll


paper towel roll cut in half even use the roll from left over foil

googley eyes

red and yellow construction paper

and bunch fun color construction paper

sharpie or pencil

glue stick

I pre cut The beaks into triangles

I also added googly eyes before kids started craft. I pre cut the gobble for the turkey.

I also pre cut construction into the feathers.

Leaving my kids to write there feelings on the feather what that turkey or what there feelings. You can add the extra step magnetic thing make it keep sake so you have thanksgiving decor during thanksgiving. Gets kids thinking about there feelings gets conversation going. I think total cast for this craft 5 dollars and with plenty left over for future crafts.

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