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  • Jessica

Changing for A Healthier Me

Hi, I am Jessica. I am 30 years old. I am just now learning how to heal and make healthier lifestyle changes. With that being said I didn't grow up knowing what fruit and vegetables were. Heck I thought water was a treat. My favorite beverage from a young age has always been Pepsi! However, breaking the cycle, I'm trying to make the mental switch to a healthier lifestyle.

By healthier lifestyle I am talking about how I got myself overweight. It was because I thought I wasn't good enough and I thought eating healthy was expensive. That's not the case, it's propaganda that was told to me. However, as I go, I am learning more and more. I got fat after my marriage-I mean huge. I fed myself telling myself I was happy. I had such a food issue I would eat what I was bringing to a meeting to make sure I would get some.

It was so bad that a few times I entered and attended a 12-step meeting to do with my food obsession (before covid).

Food is good and I love to cook. However, the problem for me, is that I will consume stuff I don't really like and am brainwashed to finish what's on my plate. “Don't waste food.” However, sayings like this can be damaging in my opinion. Instead of physically beating myself up, I got swollen and fat from overeating. I was making sure I got the delicious thing. I finished what was on my plate. I looked at the scale and saw 199 pounds and then thought,”Keep going, you are not at 200,(pounds) yet.” That's where It gets dangerous.

Luckily during pregnancy I got skinnier. However I hadn't gotten healthier. I am just now trying my hardest to make healthier choices like adding vegetables and water to my daily diet. What I'm working with is: Starch meat and vegetables. Same with breakfast: Protein, starch and fruit.

That is practicing self-care. How do I make healthier choices? By thinking first-what is the healthier choice and making that an action.

I need my relationship with food to get way better. I don’t need to always feed the cravings. I need to use my dollars better and pick fruit and vegetables. I need to make sure I’m hydrated. I need to make sure I’m eating fuel for the body, not a crash course on getting gratification of something delicious.

Working from home I go to Starbucks and Dutch bros just for a chance to talk to another human, besides talking to just the kids and husband. Dutch Bros. is the best for that. However, that’s just an excuse.

I have the excuse: I’m a caregiver, the excuse of it’s hard, the excuse of all excuses, all just babble. At the end of the day, I need to support myself and get healthier so I don’t struggle for the time I’m on this earth. The time is now, to treat me nicely. The more I get healthier and make healthier choices the more I will lead by example for my children and a chance for them to have a healthier relationship with mind, body and soul.

My current weight is what it is. It’s really not about weight but, just me being accountable and honest. I would like to physically be better at doing things. I have physically liked my first choice: To grab water instead of soda or get an apple instead of a bag chips, take my vitamins, work out and go on walks consistently, have a better relationship with a healthy lifestyle.

Feel free to reach out to me on Instagram or Tik Tok to just support one another support. Healthier choices are choosing kindness for yourself. Choose to be a better kinder person to you. So kindness counts.

Jessica Murphy

Kindness Counts

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